Like any big-budgetBethesdaRPG,Starfieldlets you decorate your designated living space with just about anything you can get your spacesuit-covered mitts on. Whether it’llactually be there when you come backis anybody’s guess, and the process can be pretty cumbersome, making you line up your approach just right, use the triggers to rotate the object of your desire to the perfect angle, and then attempt to gently place it on a surface before it inevitably wobbles and falls over, likely taking a bunch of other stuff you’ve set up to the floor with it—but hey, the developers left it in there yet again, and I’m still grateful for it.
Just today, I was scrolling through Twitter, when I stumbled upon what I assume to be an unintentional use of the grab-and-move feature, and it’s pretty funny. While you can’t exactly set it up on your workbench or nightstand, it seems like the developers have even made Sarah Morgan’s asymmetrical hair a clickable, moveable object.
After seeing the image of our fair-skinned, blue-eyed, blonde-haired Constellation chair with her hair standing on end, a lot of people couldn’t help but draw a comparison to the infamous hair gel scene from the 1998 Cameron Diaz and Ben Stiller-led comedy There’s Something About Mary, and I have to admit, that’s the first place my mind went as well. (Hey, I was 16 when it came out. Boys are gross.) I won’t go into detail about what happens in that scene, because I very much like my job here, but if you know, you know.
Starfield’s Persuasion Mechanic Tries To Fix Something That Wasn’t Broken
Okay I see your point, now do that again four more times.
It was only after I stifled the pubescent horndog who’s still apparently hanging out in the darkest corners of my mind—probably chugging down Josta and Orbitz in a replica of the basement bedroom at my parents' house as he waits for his toaster strudel to pop up—that the part of my brain that governs nostalgia was able to shift to a more family-friendly comparison; the kind you’re able to still find in the waiting room of your dentist’s office if he, like mine, he hasn’t updated his kids' area distract-them-from-the-awful-drilling-noises console in nearly three decades.
Yep, that’s the world’s most famous plumber’s stretchy face, brought to you straight from the title screen of Super Mario 64. It’s probably the most iconic video game title screen of all time, letting you grab Mario’s hat, ears, nose, lower lip, and both sides of his immaculately curled mustache, stretching and compressing them in a full 3D range of view until you’ve made the most pathetic or goofy-looking homunculus imaginable, only to release the Z button and have his rubberized mug sproing back to its usual proportions.
Random Pirates In Starfield Have More Personality Than My Companions
They may not say much, but they’ve got some style.
It was ingenious, and a great way to showcase Nintendo’s late-to-the-game leap to 3D. I must have spent a good two hours back in the day just on that and doing backflips from treetops before I ever stepped into Peach’s castle for the first time. Oh, nostalgia.
I’ve got to assume Sarah’s hair falling into the same clickable category is, unlike SM64’s title screen, completely unintentional, and likely a leftover programming bug that one of the developers forgot to take out, because seriously, who’s going to try to decorate with your boss' hair? (Answer: someone seems to have. Never underestimate how weird gamers can get).
Still, it’s one I hope doesn’t get taken out in a patch.Starfield needs more laugh-out-loud moments, intentional or otherwise, and rather than see it fixed, I’d like the devs to double down and make the effects evenmorelike Mario’s. Let us pull and stretch Sarah’s hair all the way down to her toes until she resembles Cousin It from The Addams Family. Sam Coe, that cowboy hat doesn’t look like it’d hold 10 gallons, so let me just pinch it a little, and we’ll fix it right up. Andreja, you’re looking a bit cold. Let’s take that flap of pleather that hangs over your left leg for no reason and wrap you up like a burrito. Barrett—no, you’re perfect the way you are. Never change.
The possibilities are endless, and while I’m relatively certain Bethesda won’t bend to my whims, there’s got to be some modder out there who can make this happen, right? Right?
WHERE TO PLAY
Create your own story in Bethesda’s epic open-world (or open-galaxy) RPG. With factions to join, wars to fight, and over 1000 planets to explore, Starfield is the legendary RPG developer’s most ambitious game yet.
